I Will Follow

Ok, so this post is a long time coming.  I think we are getting 'adjusted' finally as a family of 5.  Crazy going from 3 to 5.  HUGE change!!!  We have been dealing with being sick, getting adjusted, and just learning to parent 3 great boys - and man we have been busy. 

I have been pondering some things since our trip to Ethiopia this past July and then were brought back fresh in my mind on our trip in December.  God has been working in my life stretching me, growing me.  I have been trying to figure out my thoughts, and not just my thoughts, but what they mean and putting them into action.  Yesterday in church, the seniors who were graduating were honored and the worship and sermon really hit home with  me.  It  made me think and left me thinking throughout the rest of the afternoon.  'I Will Follow' was one of the songs we sung during worship.  If you haven't heard it, here it is:

The chorus:
Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you

Every time we sing this song in church, I am convicted.  Do I truly mean these words?  If God spoke to me and said 'Go', would I?  (This also means that Dan would have been convicted to Go as well).  Would it be as simple as when Christ came to the disciples and said 'Come, Follow Me - and I will make you fishers of men.'  Would I/we be willing to drop everything and go, regardless of what we want, regardless of how crazy it seems, regardless of how difficult it seems.  This is a picture I took when we were in Ethipia last July, and all I thought of whne we were at the fish market in Awassa was that passage of scripture where Christ was calling his disciples to follow him. 

These boys were preparing their nets for the evening catch.  They had come in from their morning trip out fishing, and then it was time for them to go through the nets, straighten them, fix anything that needed repaired, and prepare the nets for the evening catch.  Are we prepared to follow Him, to love those He loved, to serve those He served, to be His hands and feet? 

This leads me to questions such as:  Where is God leading us?  What is His desire/will for our lives?  Do we want a 'normal' life simply because it's 'normal'?  What is God's desire?  I don't want to spend my life wandering and worrying about the future, but I definitely want to be open to His will, to be willing to hear His leading, and to trust that it is His will.  I also want to be sure that I am not doing what I want to do and justifying it as being God's will.  I want to do what He wants, even if it is difficult or will cause people to look at me funny.  Because the only way to live a life that is truly fulfilling and full of joy is to live a life following the steps of Christ. 

The sermon from yesterday touched on some big points, but thoughts that it lead me to are:  Is what I am doing about God or about me?  Do the things I/we have hold us, or do we hold it, and are we willing to let it go if that is what we are called to do?  Do my words and actions match?  I don't want to just have a great talk, I want it to be lived out in my life, so I don't have to even talk.  Am I going to follow through on the things I have been convicted of, or am I just going to leave it sitting at the altar of conviction?  Does Christ have the 1st place in my life, truly?  Do I behave in a way that honors God?  Am I willing to give my life for what I truly believe?  This does not just mean am I willing to die for Christ?  This means am I willing to live a life for Him?  A life for  Him that may not look like others around me, that may seem odd to friends and even family?  Do I have the courage to do what Christ is leading me to? 

So, once again, not a whole lot of answers, but a lot of questions.  A lot of things to ponder and question about myself, how I live my life, where my priorities lie. 

This song by Casting  Crowns is another one that convicts me.  I don't want to be someone who leaves my convictions on the alter, I want to carry them with me out the door and throughout my daily life.  How about you?

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